It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
