Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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