Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize