She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You pole danced in your parka.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
