Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
