this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
