guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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