The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
