my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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