Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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