You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's the barista slut.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
