had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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