no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
