There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
