I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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