Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
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Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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