His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
