You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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