So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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