I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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