i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
