I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
