so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize