I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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