My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
