Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
