Umm I'm too high to move.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize