theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
