Its about making memories worth repressing
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
