Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
