i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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