He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
