Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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