bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
