wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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