Moan for me like Helen Keller
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
