im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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