He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
