The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
