Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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