i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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