these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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