I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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