Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
