don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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