Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
COCAINE IS GR8
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize