her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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