Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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