i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
