it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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