i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
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