Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
