Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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