Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you had me at cake vodka
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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