happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
