lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
