We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
