All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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