yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
