is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
