If i come over, it means nothing
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
